"Self-Destruction"

Self destruction, oh what a darkened path that is led. Thoughts trapped inside my head leaving me paralyzed by the fear that this is what I really feel. So lost within my own darkness that I cannot see the light ahead of me. I look into the mirror and see failure of what once was or could ever be. My darkness overpowers the light, leaving me cold and alone, unable to feel anything. How can I ever live life when I feel nothing? Most days I feel like my world is falling apart but I'm trapped and there is nothing that I can do to stop it. The tears don't fall anymore and the pain doesn't hurt like it once did. The pain used to cut like a knife, deep and lasting. I set myself up for failure because I know that I will never be able to succeed at anything. I fall for the same old tricks my mind plays on me. I am self destructing a little more each day. How long is it going to be before I drag myself down so deep I'll never be able to claw my way out?

"Her Pain"

Her cheeks burn as the cold autumn winds blow against her tear stained face. Emptiness consumes her entire world. Always left feeling invisible by those around her. All she can hear are the sounds of her own heart being shattered into a million pieces. Her soul is incomplete. Falling into the darkness of depression once again. She doesn't even care to fight her way out this time. She finds comfort there, like a warm blanket on a cold day. She can never find peace of mind in this twisted, pain riddled life she lives. Her steel blue eyes sparkle in the light of the full moon as she cries on her knees for something, anything to take away the pain she feels. She knows this pain will never subside. Tormented by her own emotions, she is falling apart piece by piece. So many times she has invested her heart in lies that leave her torn and broken. Why? Does she trust too much, is she that weak, or is love just not meant for her to have? When will she find someone that won't tear her down? Too many nights have been wasted crying into her pillow praying for someone to hold her and make all the pain fade away. Often she wonders if her heart will ever mend and her soul be complete.


"Emotionally Damaged"

Twisted and torn
Trapped between liking and loving
My heart wants to love with all of its jagged shards but my mind says run away
Stuck in between emotions and thoughts
not knowing which way to turn
Fearing my own judgments
Either way I will be hurt
Emotionally damage from past endeavors
I'm afraid because I know you
and terrified because I know myself
You make me smile even when I don't want to
I am lost in a sea of confusion
feeling a whirlwind of emotions
How can I trust emotions that have previously
lead me astray
I can't trust my mind because it is clouded
I can't trust my heart because it is jaded
So how can I trust when I have nothing else left to give.


"A tormented soul"

A tormented soul no one understands. A young woman barricaded by a darkness that she will never escape. Erratic thoughts overwhelm her mind, unstable emotions leave her in the midst of confusion, both stifle her ability to make the right decisions. She cares to much to care at all. Something is missing within her, a deep seeded void that nothing seems to fill. Why can't she feel what she needs, what she prays for, what she longs for? Inside this woman's body is nothing but a scared and lost little girl trying to find her way out of the darkness. Seldomly does her smile mean anything, she wears it as a mask to hide her feelings from the world. She is a tormented soul.